Actor/comedian/social media star Pete Zias on creating Total Trash Live, his scene-stealing role in the horror movie Ganymede, and his upcoming star turn in the play Messy White Gays…
By Elio Iannacci
Askew. Unhinged. Who is she? If you’re a fan of Total Trash Live – a multi-platform show hosted by the multi-talented queer Pete Zias, these five words have, no doubt, been haunting your mind since you first saw or heard him on Instagram, YouTube or via podcast. Repeated more than 20 times per episode, this quintet of words explains the brilliance of what Zias – an L.A.-based actor, comedian and social media star – does every two weeks. He dissects all the “askew” behaviours of people written about in the news (sharing snippets of insane items from Fox News and Inside Edition), he points out which celebrities he feels are most “unhinged” (employing current and past tabloids such as the National Enquirer to back up his claims), and he loves to question the mysteries of any unknown person he is fixated on with his trusted magnifying glass and a rather intense question: “Who is she?”
His legion of followers, who call themselves Trashies, are in on all the jokes, They have been growing in numbers ever since 2023, when Zias decided to take his interest in deconstructing tabloid culture on social media in 2023. His hot takes on rising and falling stars may be far from serious, but his no-nonsense demeanour (usually followed by a “Gosh darn it!”) is the purest example of high camp you can find on the internet today.
Aside from celebs, he’s got advice for Girl Scouts (“You want to make money, don’t sell cookies, sell Ozempic!”), the two famous horses who escaped from an English royal palace (“Run away from Camilla while you can, honey!”) as well as the actress in the now-famous “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” commercial (“Get up, get up, you spoiled brat!”). Writing it down on paper doesn’t really do any of his jokes justice, which is why Zias never has a script. The whole show is improvised.
A typical episode recaps Zia’s madcap life in L.A. (parking laws and wi-fi strength are thorns in his side) and may include a few bits of his past life in New York City (“Luther Vandross called Aaliyah a Janet Jackson wanna-be at a luxury gym I worked at!”), but the format of TTL is completely unstructured.
Born in Weirton, West Virginia, Zias is candid about his remarkable trajectory and his salad days as a diva-onic teenage theatre student (“I got into a fight with the drama teacher and never looked back”) in his hometown. “My high school was called Weir High, so that should tell you everything.” It may not tell us everything, but a recent all-encompassing chat with IN Magazine revealed a few of Zias’s beloved inspirations and exciting next career steps.
When did you move from West Virginia to New York?
I was 21, and then I went to college there at Marymount in Manhattan, stayed there for 10 or so years and moved to L.A. in 2006. That was a shock because I walked and took subways in New York. I still can’t drive on the freeway in L.A., because I have a panic attack because everyone is in eight lanes going 90 miles per hour. Now, I take service streets, Ubers and Lyfts.
You joined The Groundlings, the improvisational and sketch comedy troupe and school in L.A. What happened then?
I was doing a gay variety show called 3 Dollar Bill and met Drew Droege and James Adomian [comedians and actors] and started taking classes at The Groundlings. I go do their gay improv show called The Gale. I just started doing performances all over town, characters, stand-up.
Which characters emerged first?
A single mother called Crystal who has a lot of bad luck. She has a daughter named Barbara who hates her. She was partly drawn from [my] mother. Throughout all my writing of characters, I kept reading tabloids like the New York Post and Daily News every day, and used them.
When did the tabloid fixation begin?
Probably around 12, I started a collection. My mother used to get them. I would read hers and then bought my own. I got very obsessed with Old Hollywood. I love Lucille Ball, Marilyn Monroe and James Dean, so I was always looking for any information about them. Later, I became obsessed with JonBenét Ramsey. I still remember the first time I saw her on the cover of a magazine. That was the first time I think I said, ‘Who is she? Who named her?’ Well, as we all know, her mother was from West Virginia.
What is your usual tabloid routine?
Every week I go to get my People magazine, my Globe, my Star, my Enquirer, my Entertainment Weekly, and just read them alone. This has been going on for decades. One day I was doing a show at Sketchfest in San Francisco, and somebody told me to read them online, so I started to. The way these tabs are written is so crazy and so funny. They rhyme and are campy but don’t know it. The covers and cover stories are beyond dramatic, but when you really get into the issues and read non-celebrity news, it gets wild. Lately, I can’t stop thinking about the news item about a woman who threw a burrito at her husband’s head and was arrested!
What other tabloid stories cannot leave your brain?
This woman that was attacked by an otter. Oh, honey, the pictures are graphic. But the way it was written was so ridiculous. She was outside…just relaxing in a tube on the river. And this otter, honey, came after her! Tore her to pieces. The feature has a picture of the evil otter and his friends. It looks like all the other otters are laughing!
Which state has the best tabloids?
Florida, honey. There’s always some sort of animal terrorizing a family. There was a whole feature on monkeys attacking a woman in her house. Another story had photos of an alligator knocking on the door. These tabloids keep saying there’s a Loch Ness monster somewhere down in Florida, and I believe all of it!
I don’t believe a lot of things – I can be skeptical – but when it comes to Florida, I’ll believe a Loch Ness monster is running things. I have cousins and relatives that go there, but I won’t go to Florida.
You’re from an Italian American family. Were they all storytellers?
My dad’s half Russian and half Italian, and my mom’s full Italian, but we mainly have Italian influences. When I was around my grandparents and them, everybody was screaming! It’s so loud. Everyone had something to say at the same time. I didn’t have any siblings so I’m the star of the family. The great thing about my parents is they love celebrity stories, too.
Who was your mom and dad’s most bizarre sort of star fixation?
Well, my dad loved Natalie Wood and he always blamed Robert Wagner for killing her. For years, we kept hearing about he hated Robert Wagner. My mom loves blondes, like Marilyn [Monroe], because [my mother’s] a blonde now. She was a hairdresser and did her clients’ perms and cuts in the garage – my dad made her a little salon. We always had wigs in the house.
What did being around all the salon ladies offer you?
Tons of gossip, because I loved to eavesdrop. I was eight, and a quiet child, so I could listen to the neighbourhood scandals. We also had a weird neighbor who would borrow everything like lasagna sauce or coat tags or bread.
Did your parents support your acting ambitions?
When I used to audition for plays when I was in high school, my mother would show up using her maiden name and audition for the same play. I would get so mad about it. I felt like Christina Crawford and my mom was Joan. I used to make movies in my house. My dad would build sets. My dad built a great set from I Love Lucy. My mom played the Italian woman and I played Lucy [Lucille Ball]. It’s one time when Lucy went to Italy, and she was stomping on grapes. My dad also built a conveyor belt and we recreated the Lucy scene with her working at the chocolate factory,
First time you knew you wanted to be an actor?
When I saw The Muppet Show. I used to take my stuffed animals and act full scenes with them. Miss Piggy was the best – she beat up everybody. Hi-yah!
At The Groundlings, what helped you the most in terms of any lessons learned?
In The Groundlings you write a lot, pitch your skits and see if they’ll end up in the Sunday Company show. It’s a good way to stop overthinking, and just put things out there.
Which early character do you remember loving a lot?
His name was Junior, and he just was trying to get his roommate to buy a washer and dryer set. He would get very upset when his roommate would be like, ‘No.’ He would get up and threaten to walk out. It was just as simple as that. He was based on somebody I know.
You worked with Joan Rivers…tell me about the process.
On Fashion Police. That was a crazy. I had to write a million jokes and was given every picture from the red carpet. Each photo needed at least six jokes. I met her at Melissa Rivers’ house and sat in the dining room as Joan she was going through them. All these cabinets had really nice china with white and green patterns in them. Joan just looked down and doodled while you pitched your jokes. If something was funny to her, she’d stop and laugh. She must have felt me staring, because we made eye contact and I could almost hear her think, ‘Bitch, what are you staring at?’ I love her so much. She was better than Johnny Carson.
Name a character that you created that represented your surroundings the most.
Teddy Teddy – a legendary New York City ’90s club kid. He was my one-man show. I started doing Teddy Teddy because I missed New York and I missed those clubs. It was such good nostalgia. I saw Madonna at the Roxy for Valentine’s Day ’98, during her Ray of Light era. She sang ‘Shanti/Ashtangi’ and ‘Sky Fits Heaven’ before the album came out. I had a hat with a fork and a spoon on it. You could put your meatball on top of it. So when you get the munchies on the dance floor, you’re always ready.
What was your preferred club vibe?
This place called Champs, and Frankie Knuckles was spinning. He would give you a 20-minute Toni Braxton remix. I never met him but I used to dance next to him on the platform.
You always say that Hollywood is crumbling. Why?
Melrose is askew. Alexander McQueen is now a Casper. Marc Jacobs is gone. Fred Segal. Gone. What they should do is take all the abandoned buildings and turn them into roller skating rinks and performance spaces. Not stand-up, performance spaces.
How has your relationship to tabloids changed through the years?
It’s gotten more intense. I look at these tabloid stories as poetry. Before, it was more of a window into what’s going on in celebrity world. Especially before blogs.
Tell me about the play you are involved, called Messy White Gays. In terms of the script, who do you play?
We’ve had staged readings of it and soon it’ll be a full-on production. I’ve read for the role of Thacker so far: he’s an unsuccessful chorus dancer in New York who is past his prime. There’s a throuple in the play, and hilarity and mystery ensue when something terrible happens to one of the three.
How do you think the play reads messy white gay culture?
The characters frame themselves as such good people and they’re doing all the right things. They say what they think they should say, but they behave. We all want to come across as more considerate, but look at how so many of us are behind the scenes. Messy. But so many of us try to keep up appearances. I think everyone wants someone to say, ‘Babe, you’re the nice one,’ but meanwhile, some of us are just awful people.
Who do you think is one of the shadiest people in Hollywood?
I really like the way Mariah Carey throws shades – on a heartbeat will go to shade. I mean, don’t come for her.
One of your most hilarious characters is mirrored after Rachel Dolezal [who portrayed herself as Black although both of her parents are white]. What research did that entail?
I still laugh at that video where she gets caught on camera. They ask her about her true background and then she runs away. Out of the camera frame! People need to look at Rachel Dolezal – she needs the fame. She’s committed to that character. She hasn’t backed down. It’s Oscar-worthy. She should have won the Tony, the Emmy, the Oscar for that character. She needs to be EGOT, honey.
In a previous podcast called Chacha Heels, you broke down the hypocrisy of cancel culture.
Some of it is serious but most of it is askew. If you say something horrible about somebody, you get cancelled. Then you get to say, ‘Everyone’s attacking me!’ and you become the victim. Then you become uncancelled because you’ve been victimized. Even if it was you who was bullying somebody else, someone bullied you for bullying. Then you get to become the victim. You’re cancelling the person that cancelled you. So it’s good to get canceled. Get cancelled, honey, then you can play the victim. Everyone loves the victim!
In one of your most recent Total Trash Live performances, you made a diagram of the history of Bennifer – a.k.a. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Was this to sell to the public?
It’s absolutely for sale for one thousand dollars. It includes Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Aniston. It started off with Jennifer Lopez, then Jennifer Garner, then Jennifer Lopez, then Ben’s rumoured affair with Jennifer Aniston. Now it’s back to Jennifer Lopez. I believe in the power of Bennifer. And I believe it’s a trilogy. But it could be a whole limited series. But by the time this comes out, who knows what’s going to happen with Bennifer and the diagram will be poster-sized.
Do you think your opinion of Ben Affleck has changed ever since you read this story about him ordering six pizzas?
Ahem, it was actually five pizzas. I like him more because of it. Jennifer Lopez doesn’t let him eat bad food and that’s his god-given right!
If you could pick a dream director to work with, who would it be and why?
John Waters. I love the movie Serial Mom. I saw it in the movie theatre when I was 18, and I was screaming and laughing so much that people were turning around and giving me dirty looks. His characters remind me of me. I used to prank call everybody – just like Kathleen Turner’s character. I called a teacher and acted like I was the student’s mother and would say things like ‘I’m so sorry, my daughter’s not doing well in school. But my husband has been having an affair, and we’ve been really stressed out.’ Then I called the student’s mother and acted like I was the teacher and spread more false information. I was just getting revenge on everybody. I would change my voice and nobody would know. That’s how many ding dongs were around me.
What is that power between the intersection between a queer person and a pop diva? Explain it to me as a fan and as an artist.
I identify with divas, probably because I’m an only child. Divas are alone on stage and they have to shine. It’s all about them. Being gay is like that: it’s about being a solo act, honey. Gay people identify with them because they get a lot of criticism and pushback, and we have to be strong while we take a lot of shit from the world. I’d look to the divas while growing up, and say, well, if they can handle it, then I can handle it. Between divas and queer people, there is a secret code and it’s in the music. Sometimes it’s hidden, sometimes it’s blatant.
Let’s talk about the new horror film you are in called Ganymede. Where was that shot and what was the shoot like?
I had to fly to Paducah, Kentucky. I took two planes, and somebody had to pick me up and drive me from Nashville to Paducah. I have to put on all that makeup and contacts that make my eyes white. I was completely blind in them for hours, so I couldn’t see and couldn’t take them off. People had to walk me around the set. So, yeah, I did that scene blind and of course I was scary.
What projects do you have on the go or that you’re planning to do in the next year?
I’ll be doing a tour of Total Trash Live on stage. New York is confirmed but I’m looking at Canada next. I’m just a hired actress on Messy White Gays but in the spring, we’ll hopefully be in New York on Broadway. Look out!
ELIO IANNACCI is an award-winning arts reporter and graduate student at York University whose research interests include ethnomusicology and gender studies. He has contributed to more than 80 publications worldwide, profiling icons such as Barbra Streisand, Lady Gaga, Aretha Franklin and Beyoncé. His academic work is supported in part by funding from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council.
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