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Celebrating Canada's 2SLGBTQI+ Communities

SEX ADVICE: Sex Work Is My Prerogative

Why do we look down on sex workers, when they’re just doing what people love doing…and making money from it?…
From the beginning of time, sex has been a means of survival. It’s currency, it’s trade, it’s pleasure, it’s life. Sex work is one of the oldest jobs that has carried down through time…yet there’s still such a stigma around it.
We understand that not everyone chooses this life, and those who are forced into it are a completely different conversation—but for a moment, can we just talk about those who are sex workers, on their own terms, their own way…
We’ll let you in on a secret: people enjoy sex!
Whether you have sex with someone you love or with someone you’ve just met, you’re still having sex. It’s a natural part of life—and if someone is able to make some money from doing what everyone else is doing, why are we looking down on them for it?
I was able to talk to someone who has been in the lifestyle for six years. They shared with me a poem they had written about what sex work means to them (they wished to remain anonymous for this article).
A Paradise of my own
Introduced to a life they call sin,
Created my own paradise, pleasures within
A profession not always full of glitz and glamour—
a risk you must be willing to take to dance with the Devil.
Sure I have scares, but it’s mostly been good
I meet all sorts of people, as a sex worker should.
I made my bed and laid in it, I’m comfy and sound.
Here in my Paradise, I am a Queen newly found
Not the life I had dreamt of, but the life that I love
My body, my choice… I won’t silence my voice.
My life revolves around Sex work, I stand loud and proud
My prerogative is my choice, of which I am allowed.

I was introduced to a life they call sin,
Created my own paradise, pleasures within.
Here’s what they had to say about their life.
What makes you stand out in the industry?
Being androgynous means that I can offer more services. I’ve never really related with just one gender. I am whatever I want to be, and when I’m with a client, I’m whatever they need me to be.
What advice can you offer someone who is considering sex work?
Of course, this industry isn’t always nice to you.… My advice to people who are just starting out, or even people who have been in the lifestyle for a while, is to always make your own safety the priority. Pay someone to drive you to and from every appointment; and notify someone (or multiple people) of where you’re going and how long your appointment is supposed to last, because if something seems off, they can notify police. Also, never let someone lay a hand on you without consent; whether it’s “playful” or not, you are a human who deserves respect.
Above all else, make sure you’re having fun.

ASHLEY L. WILLIAMS is an essential part of the team at Seduction Love Boutique, being one of two main contributors to the Toronto stores’ marketing department as well as a dedicated sales manager. Seduction has proudly served the community since 1998; follow it on Instagram: @SeductionTO.

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