We’re having a “hepiphany”…
New episode of Drag Race, the All Stars 5 announcement… how are we all feeling? Still holding on? Good. After last week’s super cute, and pure, and good Drag Race superfan makeovers, I’m hoping we’ll get a bit more spice from our season 12 queens this week. Aside from a few very minor comments, there really hasn’t been a lot of drama in the werk room yet, and I want DRAMA. I’m a sucker for a feud, what can I say? Is this finally going to be the season where we do actually get RuPaul’s Best Friends Race? Hopefully not.
As this week’s episode opens we are fresh off of a double save, and hopefully that will be the only one this season. The queens enter the werk room a little shaken up, but thankful for the second chance. Jaida is feeling great after getting her third win, what can we say? The queen is well-rounded. She kind of flew under the radar at the beginning of the season, and it’s Gigi sweat. Speaking of Gigi, she jokingly mentioned that she was annoyed that there were still six of them in the werk room. We can’t help but think that there’s at least a little bit of truth to her joke.
The next day in the werk room Heidi is still deciding on a name, and Ru enters the room with no video message warning. That’s because this week’s mini challenge is the infamous puppet show, and girl, I’m ready for it. The queens reach into the box for their puppets. Crystal gets the Jaida puppet. Jackie gets the Sherry puppet. Sherry gets the Heidi puppet. Heidi gets the Crystal puppet. Jaida gets the Gigi puppet, and Gigi gets the Jackie puppet. After putting their puppets in drag it’s time for a good old-fashioned bitch fest. All of the queens do a pretty good job, even with the low blows, and then there’s Gigi. For someone who did so well with the Snatch Game, it’s kind of hard to believe she wouldn’t be able to excel at this specific mini challenge. Jackie Cox wins the mini challenge with her haunting performance with the Sherry Pie puppet. I can’t be the only one thinking that puppet has gotten more airtime than Sherry since episode two (for obvious reasons). This is Jackie’s third mini challenge win, and she’s hoping that she can maybe win the main one if the mini challenge is any indication of what that challenge will be. Speaking of the main challenge, it’s a one-woman show. The rules are pretty relaxed, but the queens will be performing their shows in front of a live audience, and this week’s guest judge Whoopi Goldberg.
The queens get to work on their one woman shows, and since she won the mini challenge, Jackie gets to choose the order. None of the queens want to go last, but somebody’s got to do it, and Jaida decided she’s up for it. After deciding the order it’s time to rehearse with the coaches (Ru and Whoopi), and we get a taste of what the shows are all about. Jackie is up first and her show is let’s be honest, not funny at all. She’s opening so she needs to figure that out. As the queens rehearse, Whoopi gives some great advice, and they’ve got some work to do to actually make their shows funny. I’m a little worried, Gigi is really worried. There’s a lot that’s out of her control in this challenge, and she’s not used to making sure everything is perfect before stepping on stage.
It’s the day of the shows, and as the queens are getting ready to perform on the main stage. Jackie decides she’s going to do impersonations of her parents, and Gigi is nervous that she won’t be as funny as the other queens. Heidi is excited to show her family to the world, and Jaida thinks Rose from The Golden Girls is another queen from New York. Out on the main stage Jackie is up first, and her show is surprisingly good. She’s funny, and her story is heartwarming, a major improvement from her rehearsal. Next is Crystal with her exotic dancer instructional show. There’s a lot happening here, and it is truly a show you have to see to believe. It got a lot of laughs from the judge’s panel, so I think she’ll be safe. Heidi is third, and her show isn’t getting as many laughs as she expected. She definitely bit off way more than she could chew. Gigi is next, and I can smell the nerves on her from here. Her show starts off great. She’s decided to roast the audience, and it’s working for her. It didn’t go as bad as she thought it would. Sherry is next with her goldfish, and it takes her more than half of her show to get to it. Her show goes on three times longer than it should have, surely she’ll be read for that. Jaida is last, and her show is a sinking ship. It was the Titanic girl, and it was PAINFUL to watch. Yikes.
Out on the runway, the category is The Colour Purple, and all of the queens look stunning in their purple lewks, but we all know it’s all about the critiques of the one woman shows, so let’s get to it. The judges start by telling her that her story time show was great, and they loved her campy look. The judges loved Crystals outrageous exotic dancing show, and her super weird runway look. Crystal is serving us something totally different than what we’re seeing and she’s on a roll. The judges loved Heidi’s concept, but it wasn’t big enough, but she looks stunning on the runway. The judges say Gigi’s show was almost there, but her nerves prevented her from giving it her all, but as always she looks perfect on the runway. While the judges liked Sherry’s look, and they even liked her show, but read her for going on 12 minutes over her time. The judges felt for Jaida’s sinking show, but they adored her look on the runway.
After the judges deliberate, they name Crystal as the winner of this week’s challenge! They then decide to save Jackie, Gigi, and Sherry. Leaving Jaida, and Heidi to lip sync for their lives. The queens battle it out to Prince’s 1999. This one sucks because I think we all collectively love these two, and it’s going to be rough to see either one of them go. After a passion-filled performance, Ru decides to save Jaida, sending Heidi home. It’s hard not to be upset about this one, but we know we’ll be seeing more of her. Hopefully soon.
Front runner of the week: I’ve been cheering her on since episode one, and I’m so glad Crystal is finally getting the credit she deserves.
Overdone joke of the week: If we see that broccoli costume from episode two one more time I don’t know what I’m going to do.
What we’ll see next week: A dancing challenge makes some of the queens dizzy as we get closer to our final four!
Missed a week?: Read our RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 12 recaps right here!
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