I am having a problem with a good friend and a love interest, and I hope you can help me out. Basically, my closest friend is just starting to date a new woman, they are totally blissed out, and while I’m happy for her (she’s been solo for a while now), I’m really hurting inside. You see, the woman she’s dating is someone I’ve had a mad crush on for years. I feel really torn. I don’t want to get in their way, nor do I want to be a fickle friend. But I can’t help thinking about the other woman and how we would be together. It’s so painful and confusing. What can I do to maintain my dear friendship and not be so affected by their love? Should I be honest and talk to my friend?
I am a 58-year-old gay guy who became single two years ago after my relationship of 18 years came to an abrupt end. At first, the idea of a new serious relationship was the farthest thing from my mind. But for the past year, I’ve been hoping to find love once again. The trouble is that I feel invisible in the gay scene—I walk into a bar and feel like a wrinkled dinosaur who is not remotely interesting to the guys hanging there. I’m a relatively handsome and fit guy, but I’ve gone on only one (really bad) date since the breakup. Sometimes I wonder if men around my age are already settled down or if they’re only on the hunt for fresh-faced young guys. How do I successfully find guys in a community that sees me as expired goods?
I’m a 35-year-old gay man and came out to my family and friends about six years ago. I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for about a year now and I’m hoping you can help me out here. I feel like we get along just fine and I love him quite dearly. A constant source of conflict, however, has to do with how we are with each other when we’re out in public. He consistently gets angry with me and tells me that I’m less affectionate with him than when we’re at home, and has accused me of being ashamed of him and my sexuality in general. It’s so bad that I avoid being out with him and that just makes him more upset. While I did wrestle with my sexuality for a long time, I feel I’ve moved past any lingering shame and simply prefer to be more private about my affections. Why does everyone need to know my personal business or who I love? Why can’t the love we share at home be enough… is there something I’m missing here?