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reggie@themintmediagroup.com

“In the gay men’s community specifically, but the queer community in general as well, if two people have been building up sexual tension, but then it is disclosed that one is HIV-positive (or has another similarly serious STI) and the other does not, is it socially acceptable to lose interest and move on? What is the best way to negotiate that situation? I’m asking because one of my gay male friends is directly struggling with it — he’s negative and feels a certain pressure to sleep with positive men that he is attracted to. But I’m curious for myself as well.”

Karen

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Can you make any recommendations for lubes? And can you tell me why flavoured ones are so often known, to me, as “vaginitis in a tube?”

Gillian

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“I have yet to find that fantastic book about navigating from a sex-negative to sex-positive approach to one’s own sexuality. The books I’ve come across are either heterosexist, play on moralistic, slut-shaming concepts (like The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex), or unreadable in their density. Any ideas?”

Pat

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“Can you change your instincts? I’m a straight male submissive, and I prefer women 10 to 15 years older than me. But dominant women are a rarity in the BDSM scene, and they’re often married or otherwise unavailable. I feel like I’m waiting for table scraps. I’ve decided that if I’m going to get any kind of intimacy, I need to swear off older, unavailable women. But younger women just don’t make me respond in the same way. I feel like I’m forcing myself to eat Brussels sprouts while still fixating on the chocolate I know will make me sick. So can I want what I want to want?”

Peter

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How do you deal if your body (especially crotch) odour — or flavour — makes you feel self-conscious, or if a partner smells bad… or just not to your taste?

Kathleen

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“I’m interested in spiritual approaches to sex, but in the past I’ve found all the Tantric/energy/spiritual writings out there to be heavily entrenched in a male/female gender binary, which really doesn’t work for me. Do you have anything to recommend?”

Cash

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How do you deal with envy when having a threesome or moresome? Especially when you see the ways others can do something with your lover that you cannot, something that seems to make your lover really happy?

 Sam

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“Times are tough these days, and I’m living like a student again. I still want to get laid but condoms can get expensive! When I was an actual student, I got them for free at the university LGBT centre. Where can I find them for free or cheap now?”

LAURA GULL

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“I am seeing more and more guys preferring bareback sex. Why do you think this is?”

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Bottoming 101 — here’s a few tips to start

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