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RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 13 Episode 12 Recap: Nice Girls Roast

The top six queens prepare a roast for past Miss Congeniality winners. While some of them serve up a perfect slice, others accidentally set themselves on fire…
 
Twelve episodes in, six queens left. Last week, after a branding challenge we said goodbye to local New York City celebrity Tina Burner, in an elimination that left some fans (I cannot stress this enough, not me) in shock. Look, if it were up to me it would have been a double elimination. We’re almost out of episodes and we need to get to that final three, or four, or whatever Ru thinks is most appropriate. But alas, I am not an executive producer, therefor you will all have to hear my production ideas. This week the queens are putting their mean girl pants on to roast some Drag Race alumni. Who will fly? Who will flop? Let’s find out!
 
This week’s episode starts in the work room following Tina’s elimination. The queens are a little sad to see her go, as she was such a presence on the show. Utica tells the other queens she feels really bad about sending a legend like Tina home, and says she feels she should have gone home instead. But in confessionals, she says the exact opposite. Some of the queens are starting to see through her act though. Over on the couches the queens condragulate the winning queens and point out that Kandy is the only one left without a single win.
 
It’s a new day in the work room and Symone is excited! And she has good reason! She just won her fourth challenge! Ru enters the room and tells the queens that for this week’s mini challenge the queens are doing live makeup tutorials in pairs. It’s the always hilarious “be my arms” gag. The pairs take turns giving each other preschool level makeovers with Anastasia Beverly Hills makeup. Rosé and Kandy win the mini challenge. Back in the work room, Ru tells the queens it’s cool to be kind, but it’s so much more fun to throw shade. For this week’s maxi challenge, the queens are putting on a good old-fashioned roast! The queens will be roasting three former Miss Congeniality winners, Valentina, Nina West, and Heidi N Closet. The mini challenge winners get to pick the roast order. Rosé and Kandy take care of themselves first, pick the parts they want (Kandy opening, and Rosé closing). They’re genuinely trying to make a show order that makes sense without sabotaging the other queens, which is commendable. Following announcing the roast order, they quickly get to work on their roast material. Symone, and Gottmik are both nervous for this challenge, which is weird since they’re the two always at the top of comedy challenges. Olivia is the season sweetheart, which is always a hard roadblock in a roast. In true Olivia blind-optimism fashion, she thinks she’s got this one in the bag… I mean, we’ll see.
 
After writing their jokes, the queens meet with their comedy coaches Michelle and this week’s guest Loni Love. Kandy is up first, and the coaches tell her to slow it down an enunciate, but she’s got the energy and the shade. Gottmik is the most worried, but her jokes are good. The coaches tell Olivia that she’s got to work on her jokes and use her sweetheart persona with her. Rosé comes prepared, and the coaches are super pleased with her performance. Symone, a roast virgin, and chronic overthinker, has to work on just letting the jokes flow on their own without explanation. Utica decides instead of writing jokes, she’s actually just going to bully everyone in the room. The coaches remind her that the people she’s roasting have to be in on the jokes too. There’s some thinks she has to work on before the actual show.
 
It’s elimination day, and as the queens get ready for a roast on the runway, they talk about how comedy and making people laugh has been such a big part of their lives. On the main stage Ru introduces the judges, and this week’s guest Loni Love. Heidi, Nina, and face mask pioneer Valentia get seated, and the roast opens with Kandy Muse. She does really well. Lots of laughs, and a smart decision to open the show with her energy. She could win the challenge this week!

Symone is up next, and it’s uhhhhhhhh quiet. It’s painful to watch, but she looks stunning, and that should count for something. Following Symone, Utica takes the stage, and she chose to go with the unfunny mean comments the coaches told her not to go with. I don’t even feel good about calling them jokes. As I am writing this, I am currently not even watching because the second-hand embarrassment is so bad.

Gottmik is up next and there is no possible way she could be worse than Utica. She ends up doing a good job and lands a lot of jokes. Olivia is next, and she gets a few laughs, but she doesn’t really stray from reading her cards. She’s on the weaker end of the performances for sure. Closing out the roast is Rosé. Bring it home girl, I am terribly uncomfy. Rosé kills it, as expected, but doesn’t deliver as strong as a set that Kandy did. She has nothing to worry about though.
 
The critiques started with Kandy, and the judges all agreed she set the bar high for the night. They all laughed from beginning to end. The judges were a little disappointed with Symone since she has been so funny in all the other comedy challenges. Ross tells Utica that in roasts nothing is off limits as long as it’s actually funny. She got flustered and got mean instead. They love her look, but I’m not sure it’s enough to save her this week. The judges praise Gottmik for actually taking the coach’s advice during the rehearsal, and Ru tells her she might have a future in stand-up. Ross tells Olivia it’s really tough to be likeable and nail a roast challenge. She still thinks she did a good job; Ru’s tone would suggest otherwise. The judges praise Rosé for being the only queen without cards on the stage, but Loni tells her she was actually funnier in the rehearsal. Which is such a bummer.
 

Following the deliberations, Ru announces Kandy Muse is the winner (her first time!) of the roast challenge! Rosé, Gottmik, and Olivia Lux are safe for the week. In the bottom is Utica, and Symone. The two bottom queens lip sync for their lives to “No Tears Left to Cry” by Ariana Grande. I think we all know who’s going home this week, but let’s humour ourselves and watch it anyways. After the lip sync, Ru gives Symone a second chance, and sends Utica packing. She had some stellar looks, but it all went downhill after she wore a squirrel wig during Snatch Game. We’ll miss your special weird Utica!
 
Front runner of the week: After weeks without a win Miss Kandy Muse finally got her gold medal this evening. This challenge was built for her quick timing, and attitude. Go Kandy!
Surprise comic of the week: Gottmik was seriously worried if she could deliver in a roast challenge, but her sense of humour is perfect for roasting. Who knew!?
What we’ll see next week: The queens shrink themselves down in an acting challenge, Scarlett Johansson gives them some acting tips, and Symone is worried she’s letting people down.
 

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