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Celebrating Canada's 2SLGBTQI+ Communities

Sex Advice: Wait, What—In The Butt?

“This is really embarrassing, but I’m thinking of trying anal”…
 
We’ve all been there. Curiosity of the “forbidden hole” and the temptation to just…go for it. After years of working in adult retail, I have come to the conclusion that a lot of people don’t actually know the first thing about having anal sex, but I’m so glad that they find the courage to walk into Seduction and ask, “What is the best way to ensure that playing anally is going to be pleasurable for me and my partner?”
Yes! Here are a few key pieces of advice that I offer to customers that are a sure bet for a successful session.
 
1. After you’ve had the conversation about anal, and you know you’re ready to take the next step…find a suitable time for you and your partner to come into the store together to look for an anal plug. You want to choose a plug that is equal to or greater in size compared to what you are penetrating with second (whether it’s a penis, a strap-on, etc.). That may seem intimidating, but it will be more helpful for playing purposes.
2. You’ll also want a lubricant. I know a fair amount of people who have come in over the years and have said they don’t feel lubricant is necessary, but I have to say…it really does make a difference. The lubricant you choose will depend on what type of toy you’re using. Different materials require different care.
3. Please refrain from using any types of desensitizers for anal penetration. There are other serums that are efficient, but numbing the area so you don’t feel anything could be dangerous. If any damage is done during play, you won’t notice until it’s too late—not to scare you, but it happens. There are relaxing gels that don’t take away sensation but help relax the area. If you feel these gels are necessary, ask someone at our store for an alternative to numbing.
4. Communication is important. You want to take your time to relax the muscles so you don’t cause any damage or tears when penetrating…. Remember, slow and steady wins the race. Give the body a decent amount of time to adjust. If it hurts, say something! If you tense up, the experience will only become more un-pleasurable.
5. Lastly, my favourite tip: if you focus on some kind of stimulation—whether a small vibrator on sensitive areas of your body, or masturbation—you’re more likely to focus on the pleasure you’re feeling rather than the pressure of back-door fun.
 
Anal play is only as scary as you make it. If you follow these tips, you’ll see that a little bit of change doesn’t always hurt.
 

 
ASHLEY L. WILLIAMS is an essential part of the team at Seduction Love Boutique, being one of two main contributors to the Toronto stores’ marketing department as well as a dedicated sales manager. Seduction has proudly served the community since 1998; follow it on Instagram: @SeductionTO.
 

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