Can a woman learn to ejaculate?
Yes! Often enough, at least.
Pretty much every cisgendered woman is physically equipped to ejaculate, so let’s start with a basic anatomy lesson.
The urethral canal, inside your body, leads from the bladder to the urethral opening, a tiny hole located above the vaginal opening and below the clitoris—the yellow traffic light, if you will. (How apropos.) The urethral canal is surrounded by glandular tissue, like a garden hose wrapped in a big thick fuzzy blanket. When you get turned on, that tissue swells with fluid drawn from your bloodstream.
Surrounding the urethral opening are even tinier openings known as the para-urethral ducts. This is where ejaculatory fluid comes out when you squirt. It’s not pee; it doesn’t come from the bladder and it doesn’t come out via your urethra, just awfully close by.
If you put a finger inside your vagina an inch or two and angle up toward your belly, you’ll be pressing on some slightly rough-feeling skin which is essentially the bottom side of the glandular tissue surrounding the urethra. This is known as the G-spot, but it’s not like a button—more like a roughly demarcated area. If you’re really turned on, you may notice that it feels a bit like pressing upward into a water balloon.
For some women, firmly stroking or thrusting into this area will feel really good, particularly if you’re already very aroused. It may start to feel like you need to pee—but really it’s that you wanna squirt! To let that happen, you need to retrain your instinct to clamp your muscles inward to prevent a leak. If anything, you may want to try bearing down as though you were pushing pee out; the muscular contractions can help squeeze the fluid out.
Squirting feels like an intense release. It may or may not come along with an orgasm of the clitoral variety. Sometimes it’s easier to ejaculate after you’ve already come, because you’re more relaxed.
Unlike semen, ejaculatory fluid replenishes very quickly as long as you stay hydrated. That means that for lots of folks, it’s possible to squirt over and over again more or less indefinitely. Swig a bottle of water and lay down a towel or 10. Plastic sheets can help. I’m serious. You may squirt anywhere from a teaspoon to several cups’ worth of fluid. Hot!
Here’s the trick, though. If you put psychological pressure on yourself to squirt, you may end up feeling tense and anxious. That makes it much harder to work up the kind of intense deep-body arousal that leads to ejaculation. Your best bet is to relax and just enjoy the ride without being too intensely goal-oriented.
Remember also that depending on your menstrual cycle, tension levels and hydration, you may squirt lots sometimes, less other times and sometimes not at all.
Try reading Sheri Winston’s book Women’s Anatomy of Arousal if you want more detailed info.